Computer Wisdom

* There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
* A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
* The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
* At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
* Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
* Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
* Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
* Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
* Hit any user to continue.
* I wish life had an UNDO function.
* If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
* It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive.
* Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
* 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast
* I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
* My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
* Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
* "To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
* Life's unfair - but root password helps!
* Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
* Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
* "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
* Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.
* Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence.
* BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
* BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
* As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
* Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
* All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
* A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
* Managing programmers is like herding cats.
* "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true."
* "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street."
* C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
* A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful.
* 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast
* APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Application has reported a "Not My Fault" in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
* "The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea."