Careful what you ask for

Right now, Im composing this post on my smartphone using the hospitals wireless network while I lay in my bed. It's 6 something in the morning. I was praying the other day for a renewed closeness with God. Not that I was distant or anything, I was just looking for more. Maybe this is His answer. ;)

Nothing deepens a relationship like dependence, right? I thought the days with this illness were behind me but maybe I just needed a little reminder that there is a bigger picture I'm a part of. Reference my earlier post - what's my role? For now I think, it is to be thankful for grace and strength. What a gift we have.

Showing weakness

When is it wrong to hide our pain?

I have learned the most from people who shared their brokenness and pain with me.

2Co 12:8-9 (8) For this thing I besought the Lord three times, that it might depart from me. (9) And He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may overshadow me.

I have always struggled with sharing my own struggles with others for various reasons, chief among them is that I have felt uncomfortable showing weakness. Our culture has created an image of manliness that is built on a "macho gunfighter" Hollywood type. Compounding that, is a reluctance to appear a whiner. I am learning, albeit slowly, that sometimes greater strength is shown in admitting weakness and / or failure, than not. Giving people a chance to minister to your / my needs is sometimes more important than maintaining that image of "having it all together".

The truth is, people hurt. People make mistakes. People get sick. People struggle with addictions, behavior issues, life. We have to learn to get past the desire to mask it with a lie and learn to lean on our friends and in turn, be there to be leaned on.