Computer Wisdom

* There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
* A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
* The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
* At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
* Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
* Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
* Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
* Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
* Hit any user to continue.
* I wish life had an UNDO function.
* If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
* It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive.
* Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
* 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast
* I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
* My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
* Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
* "To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
* Life's unfair - but root password helps!
* Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
* Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
* "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
* Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.
* Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence.
* BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
* BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
* As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
* Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
* All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
* A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
* Managing programmers is like herding cats.
* "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true."
* "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street."
* C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
* A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful.
* 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast
* APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Application has reported a "Not My Fault" in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
* "The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea."

The Christian Church culture

Referencing my earlier post about living an insulated Christian life, I feel compelled to comment a little bit further on the Christian vernacular. Sometime ago I was between churches and as a result had an opportunity to attend a fairly wide variety of different churches. One thing that really struck me was the language of the Church. At times, despite growing up a part of a church, I felt something of an alien. I suppose I've spent enough time outside of a church that what may seem to be completely normal to one immersed in the Christian Church culture, to me still seems at times foreign. I hang out with friends to eat and talk and I call that eating and talking, not fellowship. I'm still not completely sure what all the terms mean and I'm fairly certain I don't need to know. I think we need to make an effort to avoid creating our own Christian subculture, rather work on being a light in the culture we are part of.

It's not the healthy who need healing...

I'm all for corporate worship but I think, like most things it needs balance. It's so easy to get caught up in the Christian world that we forget what our mission really is.

Matthew 9:10-13 (NIV)
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and “sinners” came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’a For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Jesus gives something of a rebuke here when he says it's not the healthy that need a doctor but the sick. Have we've forgotten that message? It seems to me that most churches I've been in are very focused on the Church, but not focused nearly enough on the world we are a part of. Maybe that's a product of too many years of trying to be in the world but not of the world, but how can you reach the world if you don't participate in the world?

To know someones pain, you have to know the person first. To show the love of God, we have to know the person.

ZOHO goes offline!

In case you were not aware, there is a great office solution available online for use anywhere - one of the chief drawbacks to it was there was no offline capability. Zoho has now added R/O offline and is bringing R/W soon! I like it. Check out the intro video below.

Brain Food

Anti-Aging and Cognitive Boosters

Credit: AOL Article

Blueberries are the ultimate memory food. Research at the USDA showed that daily consumption of blueberries dramatically slows the impairment of memory that usually accompanies old age.

Compounds in blueberries called polyphenols actually help "turn on" the signals that let neurons (brain cells) communicate with each other more effectively.

Compounds in strawberries help protect your brain and preserve your memory. In a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, animals that consumed an extract of strawberries, spinach and blueberries every day had significant improvements in their short-term memory. Not only did they learn faster than the other animals, but their motor skills improved as well.

Spinach is loaded with an array of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant compounds that research has shown to slow brain aging and preserve memory. It's one of the few food sources of the powerful, brain-protecting antioxidant alpha lipoic acid.

Tumeric's reputation as a "super-spice" is due largely to its anti-cancer activity and powerful anti-inflammatory properties -- but it also helps to protect your brain.

This spice first attracted the interest of scientists investigating Alzheimer's disease because rates of the disease are so low in India, where curry is a staple. A compound in tumeric called curcumin helps to prevent mental decline in laboratory animals.

Your grandmother was right -- fish is indeed brain food! Over 60 percent of your brain by weight is composed of fat, and most of it is the same fat found in fish. The healthy omega-3 fats in fish (and fish oil supplements) are incorporated into cell membranes, making it easier for information from neurotransmitters to get in and out of the cell.

Low levels of omega-3 fats have been linked to memory problems as well as depression, ADHD and various other neurological disorders.

Best sources: Wild salmon, sardines and cod -- or take fish oil supplements on a daily basis (500mg-3,000mg).

Egg yolks are one of nature's richest sources of choline, a B vitamin that is one of the most important nutrients for brain health. Choline is a building block of the valuable neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which is vital for memory, learning and thinking.

This vitamin is particularly important during pregnancy because it's essential for the brain development in the fetus. The choline in egg yolks helps maintain the flexibility of brain cell membranes, which is critical for the quick transmission of thoughts and impulses.

Acetyl-L-Carnitine is a supplement that just may be a fountain of youth for your brain. It seems to delay the onset of age-related cognitive decline and improve overall cognitive function in the elderly. It also protects the brain from damage due to poor circulation and helps to repair injured nerve cells.

Research shows that after three months of using recommended doses of Acetyl-L-Carnitine (500mg-1,500mg daily), there's a marked improvement in general cognitive function.

Phosphatidyl Serine (PS), a naturally occurring nutrient found in cell membranes, is highly concentrated in the brain. Several studies have shown that PS helps to restore brain function and improve learning and concentration.

Our brain health depends on PS for a number of important metabolic effects, as this it makes it possible for nutrients to move freely in and out of the brain cells.

Note:  To get the benefit of this supplement, take it with fish oil or with a serving of fatty fish such as salmon or sardines.

Ginkgo Biloba - Several research studies on this famous herb have revealed that it has a positive effect on thinking. Not only has ginkgo extract been shown to reduce the progress of dementia or the severity of its symptoms, but it also modestly improves both memory and the speed of cognitive functioning.

The extract of the leaves from the ginkgo plant contain compounds called glycosides and terpenoids which are believed to have memory-enhancing properties. Most importantly, ginkgo improves circulation to the tissues, notably the brain, and its powerful antioxidant action protects against memory-robbing cell damage from free radicals.

Exercise is crucial for both mind and body health.  It reduces levels of a stress hormone called cortisol, which when elevated, can shrink the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning.

Studies show that exercise may help prevent Alzheimer's or dementia, or at the very least, significantly delay its onset. Exercise also releases chemicals that increase the production of BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), which has been called "Miracle Gro for the Brain".

Recent research at the University of Illinois shows that the brains of healthy but sedentary individuals ages 60 to 80 years old actually increased in size after exercising aerobically for 45 to 60 minutes, 3 days a week at a moderate clip -- both the white matter and the grey matter increased in volume!

IT Quotes ...

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming be
the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing
with inanimate objects.

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand."

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Live free or die!

Too much is never enough!

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Practice makes perfect!

Everybody loves to see justice done on somebody else.

Buy a better computer so you can reboot faster.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming be
the process of putting them in.

Makes the world goes round...

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and
you feed him and his family for a lifetime.

Give a man an answer, and today's frustration is gone. Teach him to
program, and he will be frustrated for the rest of his life.

Hit a man on the head with a fish, and he'll have a headache for a day.

This .sig is under construc

No good deed goes unpunished.

My name is Dump, Core Dump.

The Bible is open to interpretation

I am reading an interesting book right now called Velvet Elvis. It is by a guy named Rob Bell and published by Zondervan. I will most likely have a number of posts generated by reading and pondering this book, but for starters, here is a big one. Bigger to some then others I suppose, depending on your world view.

Rob makes a point that I had not really thought about alot to date, but which is pretty simple and profound all at once. He says "The Bible is a communal book. It came from people writing in communities and was often written to communities." He also mentions earlier that the Bible is open ended and must be interpreted. Here is another longer quote from the book that clarifies this point.

And that's because the Bible is open ended.

It has to be interpreted. And if it isn't interpreted, then it can't be put into action. So if we are serious about following God, then we have to interpret the Bible. It is not possible to simply do what the Bible says. We must first make decisions about what it means at this time, in this place, for these people.

He is talking about the process of interpretation that was practiced by the Rabbis in the time of Jesus, who had to make sense of the scriptures in the face of the changing times, and especially with the inclusion of the Gentiles into the fold of early Christianity. I will not go into the details of this process here, though it is fascinating to me, rather I will say that I believe that what was true then, is still true now, in that the Scriptures are meant to be interpreted by a community of believers in a point in time.

Digital Photography School

While stumbling around the net, I ran into a great photo/shop site IMO. If you are a photography enthusiast and / or a Photoshop fan, I think this one will appeal to you. The site can be found at http://digital-photography-school.com/. The site is a collection of tips, tutorials, sample work and more and I found it to be educational and entertaining at the same time. Hats off to Darren Rowse, the guy behind the site.

Faith like a fishing boat

While fishing on the river recently, I witnessed something a little humorous. Two guys in a fishing boat loaded with gear came flying up the river, hit a rapids section and never slowed down. They slid the boat sideways through the deepest part and kept right on flying out of sight.

Minutes later, a second and almost identical boat came through, only when they approached the same area, they slowed and picked the motor up. Very quickly, the boat started to slide sideways and drift backwards. These shenanigans caught our attention quickly and we watched things unfold with more than one little laugh. The guys in the boat seemed to debate the best plan for a minute or two while they slid almost all the way around, then the guy in front jumped into the water and started trying to stabilize the craft. Eventually, they hung a rope out of the front and one of the guys pulled it by hand through the rapids until they could get underway again.

I was struck by the difference and in true me fashion, I had to find the deeper meaning. How much like life was that experience. Do we have the courage to trust our Faith, or God and keep the motor running while we sail forward through the difficult patches, or do we grow timid and feel like we have to do it on our own? How often do we make our lives so much more painful than they have to be? Both boats went though the same section of water, they were virtually identical boats and drew the same water, yet what a different experience it was for both crews.

Pray for the president...

When was the last time you prayed for the president?

1 Timothy 2:1-2 (NIV)
(1)I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—
(2) for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
[1] The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.

While I do not agree with many of his decisions, or those of many of our elected leaders, I still should pray for them regularly and respect them as appointed leaders. I find this a hard pill to swallow sometimes. I clearly have room to grow.

The balance of faith producing works

I have come back to this idea repeatedly, looking at what it means to live the Christian life, and what being a Christian is all about. Knowing that faith without works is dead, and knowing that we are justified through faith and not works, there is this competition of ideas at times. I would like to say that I don't struggle with this simple idea, but it causes me undue angst at times as I try to figure out what my life should look like. I know I am not the only one who has pondered this, but at times it feels a lonely road.